Bad Ettiquitte Thoughts

Please Note: Below this article is some commentary from me about some stuff, so please keep an eye out for that stuff.





The Worst (And Most Common) Etiquette Mistakes
Posted Mon, Mar 02, 2009, 10:53 am PST

By Rita Maurceri & Elycia Rubin

 Party Poopers When you receive an invitation to a dinner or party -- whether by Evite.com, voicemail, or casual email -- RESPOND. Yeah, that is what that little “RSVP” thing means, folks. Everyone knows it, yet it is amazing how many do not respond. Even for weddings! Planning a party or event requires a lot of work, so do the host a simple favor and let them know if you're coming or not.



 Nickel & Dimin’ How annoying is it when you go to dinner with four or more people, the check finally arrives, and one of your meal companions begins to divvy up the check down to the last penny? Sure, we get that Sally had a shrimp salad, and Janet had two iced teas, while Beth only had water, and you ordered a slice of peach pie (a la mode, which is extra). The point is, if you go out to dinner with a group, be prepared to split the bill more or less evenly. If there is an outstanding cost differential, fine, estimate it, and is done with it. The person who spends twenty minutes dividing the bill to the dime comes off as a cheapskate –- and kills the festive mood.

 The Line-Up Lines are a fact of life. At the post office, the supermarket, just about everywhere these days. For starters, moaners who huff and gripe about standing in a line of three people for all of five minutes are tops on our list. Get over yourself -- if you do not have a few minutes to wait to buy that loaf of bread, then pick it up another time. Another thing: Do not show your impatience by creeping up so close to the person in front of you that they can feel your breath. Crowding those around you will not get you to the front any faster, so give them some space. Finally, cutting in line or trying to ignore the fact that there IS a line –- stop it! Everyone’s time is valuable.

 The ME Show It is great to hear all the crazy, wacky, wonderful things happening in the lives of others. Jobs, engagements, breakups, boyfriends, puppies, pregnancies, vacations — very good stuff, all of it. But once you have listened to a friend, family member, or colleague spout about their own fabulous life for an hour (or two), it is normal to expect them to ask, “So, what’s going on with you?” Those who blab on about themselves while you listen intently, then do not ask a thing about you in return are just plain rude.

 Baby Biz Changing a poopy baby diaper around others is nasty -- and we are moms. Changing the other kind of baby diaper in public is one thing, but still should only be done when absolutely necessary!

 Mobile Madness As much as we love the modern age, there are days when we long to go to a coffee shop, movie theatre, bookstore, or post office and not hear some teen queen dishing to her friend about last night's hot date with Todd or eavesdrop (unwillingly) on a screaming family feud. Mobile phones are essential, but please, people, pleeeeeeease, use a little restraint on the when's, what's, and where's. We are happy that Todd is "totally built" but we are going to have to start walking around town and slapping people with "TMI" tickets (yes, too much information).



 Smokes Everyone has a right to smoke in public, but be conscious of whose face your smoke is blowing into. Are there kids nearby? And we just might kick the butt of the next person we see throwing their burning butt on the ground without putting it out. Really, find an ashtray or trashcan where you can extinguish and dispose of it properly -- that thing is garbage, not decoration for our streets and sidewalks.


The Pee & Flee Public bathrooms get used by everyone -- yes, they are public! So, making a mess of the toilet seat, and then prancing out without bothering to wipe it up -- not cool. Leaving a mess for the next visitor is completely unacceptable (and disgustingly unsanitary, of course). Take 10 seconds to rip off a piece of toilet paper, toilet seat cover, or a paper towel, and do your due diligence!



Stealing. . . a parking spot, that is. Yeah, you know who you are. If someone has their blinker on and is patiently waiting for a spot, it is theirs. And if you have already passed a spot up, it is gone. Treat others as you expect to be treated, and the parking goddesses will smile down upon you... eventually.


Belly Baring Men, women -- anyone who has passed puberty, everyone who is not lounging poolside or oceanside -- resist the urge to bare those bellies. They may be beautiful, Buddha-like, jolly, but sometimes they can be flabby, hairy, and not ripe for public consumption. If you are jogging, fellas, t-shirts or tanks will not hurt your workout, so throw one on. Gals, midriff fashions are never really on our "Do" list, and that goes double if your age does not contain the word "teen.” There are plenty of ways for all of us to flaunt what we got without sharing our tum-tums with the world.


Spitting This gets especially yucky when it is one of those enormous globs that looks like it could be alive. Some people (males, in particular) think it is kind of a cool-guy thing to do. We are here to tell ya that no one wants to see you hock a big gooey one out of your car, onto the sidewalk, or anywhere else for that matter. Try a tissue.


Honking Problem People who honk too often, too unnecessarily, or just to express their emotions are on our list of Most Etiquette Challenged. If you are trying to warn someone about a collision or problem, fine, otherwise it is not that serious. Give it a rest!





Good evening, all of you out there on the internet. I just wanted to start off with a little reminder from above – the above article, I found it by the two ladies who wrote it on yahoo.com on March 3, 2009. I just wanted to share the above article with all of you tonight, because as I have previously mentioned in a previous blog, I have some pet peeves that are, well, long story short, considered “Bad etiquette,” by not only myself, but by apparently a few other people as well, (such as the two ladies who wrote the above article.)


One of the above things is something that I have blogged about over on my page in my space previously – my extreme dislike of people who apparently “Forget” or “Don’t bother for some mysterious or unknown reason” to RSVP to any and all events that these people are invited to come to by somebody else. This lack of response to an invitation by people is regardless of how the person (or people) were invited – be the people are invited through evite.com , (my personal favorite website outside of amazon.com/shops/darkangel9102005 !); an e-mail; a phone call or even a paper invite in the regular “Snail mail” as well. This whole “Not responding to an invitation regardless of how it was sent to a person” thing irks me to absolutely no end. People don’t know how absolutely annoying that this lack of response is not only rude but just down right annoying for a person who is planning an event. Oddly enough, shortly after I read the above online article, I forwarded a copy of this article to my mom and said in the e-mail that I sent to my mom something to the effect of: “Well, Mom, I think that quite a few members of your family could use getting a copy of this in paper in their regular mail boxes, because they could really learn to not do that first thing listed there,” (meaning that my mom’s family could learn to start RSVP’ing to people’s invites and evites.) For example, folks – a fair few of my mom’s siblings and countless scores of my mom’s extended family members did not bother to RSVP to my wedding back in September 2005. Trust me, folks, I remember who didn’t RSVP back then to my wedding from my mom’s family and I can guarantee you that if somebody from those who pulled that stunt back then in 2005 invite me to an event of theirs in the near future, I think that I’ll just give them a taste of what that is like [especially after they drop at least $200 on getting those wedding invites (for example) printed in the first place, then paying for the postage, etc.] by not RSVP’ing to their wedding/baby shower in the first place.)



Another thing that drives me crazy (and I have had this happen to me as well) with inviting people is when somebody “Tried to invite me to an event of some sort” but they did not have the correct mailing address for me – be it a “Snail mail address” or an e-mail address. My thought on this whole “Wrong address thing” on the invite thing is: “Hello – have you ever heard of the white or yellow pages or the telephone?? You know, all it really takes when it comes down to it is either a phone call to either me (directly) or somebody who would probably know my address (such as my parents or my mother-in-law) or getting your head out of your ass and going in the white or yellow pages online and looking me up there as far as my actual street address is concerned, (hello, I’m like so listed there, people!)”



You know, it just amazes me that I actually had somebody (and I won’t say who it was here) actually try to invite me to what I think was some kind of shower (of the bridal or baby persuasion) in the last couple of years and the person didn’t have my “New regular (read: snail mail) address,” (because I had moved in 2007.) I wanted to ask the person: “Well, you spend so much time talking to certain nameless person in my family who would know my address, (possibly!) and you did not bother to ask that person what he or she thought that my address might be or at least get my home phone number from that other person to ask me directly for my regular mailing address, if you weren’t sure of it yourself there? The question that I want to know now is what the hell is wrong with you for not even getting out the phone book and looking me up in the phone book, if you would not bother (or are too good to do this) but to ask that other family member for my direct home phone number? You know that I now have an unusual enough last name to where the last name has a ‘Short listing’ in the phone book!! I imagine that you could at least figure out whose name our phone number (and of course, subsequent address) is in the phone book on your own, without any help from me on that one, right??”



Well, the good news is that now, most people in my immediate (and not so immediate) circle of familial and friendly relations who I send Christmas cards to each year have a typed version of my actual regular mailing address now, (the one that I actually get paper mail, packages and everything delivered to everyday, except Sundays.) I have to be honest here folks – I am not that hard to find locally, although there’s apparently a few folks who cannot figure out where I am on their own for some reason or another that is unknown to me personally who want to get in contact with my husband or myself in the near future.


Another thing that is related to the whole “Not RSVP’ing” thing is the lazy gift recipients, be it a bride and groom or a mommy-to-be who do not write “Thank you” notes for some mysterious reason to the people who not only took time out of their day to come to the person’s wedding or shower, but the people actually managed to cough up a gift of some sort to give the person as well. I have a couple of guy cousins that are named Travis and Floyd (and I won't say their last names here) and their now wives are too freaking ass lazy to get a box of “Thank you” notes and to crank out at least one thank you note to anybody! (Trust me, even my mom did not even get a thank you note from either of the afore mentioned guys after either one of their weddings as well, so you can only imagine how ticked off my mom was about it!! My momma raised me right, folks – my mom made me sit down and write thank you notes for every last freaking gift that I received when I graduated from high school back in the day. I also wrote thank you notes when I graduated from college the first time as well. I then subsequently managed to get all of my thank you notes cranked out for all 3 of my bridal showers before my wedding in 2005 and I managed to actually get all of my wedding thank you notes cranked out then tossed in to the mail after my wedding as well.) It makes you wonder about people when they do not bother to have the “Good breeding or upbringing to actually write and then mail people thank you notes for their gifts after a shower or a wedding.”



I also have to say here that as far as my one guy cousin who got married back in September 2008 – that cousin’s wife actually did send us a thank you note pretty quickly afterwards and she did actually manage to get Tony’s first name right, (after the bride called Tony by my dad’s name on the wedding invite and I corrected her on it!) As far as Tony’s cousins go, I also have to brag on them here as well, (the ones that Tony and I have went to the cousins’ weddings as well) – those 2 girls have both managed to both write us thank you notes as well – which gets both Emily and Tabitha in my book of good manners and upbringing!


On a different note, as far as the second item, (the whole nickel and diming thing), I have not been guilty of this in a while and I do not know anybody else being so miserly (especially in this current economic situation) of being guilty of this as well. So, I am going to just pass over this whole nickel and diming thing here, because I have no opinion of this one thing to be honest, folks.



For the third thing on that above article, (the line up thing), I have had a couple of instances of people doing this to me in a couple of different places. One of the places was at an ATM. The person who was crowding me at the ATM was probably trying to steal my pin number from me, (which did not work, trust me), because I turned around, looked at the person and very rudely said to that stupid person: “Do you mind? I am currently using the ATM and you’ll have your turn here with the ATM in just a minute, so don’t go getting your panties in a twist.”


I have also had a guy crowd me in the grocery store before as well. I do not know if that guy was in a hurry, because he was going to a fire, the bathroom or what, but I deliberately slowed it way, way, way down to just piss that guy off even more, (which, incidentally, it worked like a charm on the guy. I truly thought that the guy was going to have himself either a heart attack a stroke by the time that I finished checking out of the line.) I also know that the guy was saying stuff behind me, like “Could you get a move on it now, lady?” and “Are you going to be done some time soon here, lady??” (To which my response to comments like those comments are typically something to this effect: “Well, no, stupid, because I’ve got just as much every right to be checking out my purchase as you do yours, fella, so just take the freaking ass hint and chill out!” and my personal favorite response: “Whatever, dude!!”)



I think that guy was going to try to pick a fight with me after I got done checking out at the grocery store, because I acted like I could have just cared less about that guy and whatever his “Issue/malfunction” was that day. So, fair warning, folks – it’s not a good idea to get behind me when I’m not in a hurry to get somewhere, (like when I’m just getting off of work and I don’t have to be anywhere right away) and when you’re in a huge hurry to get somewhere, because I’ll poke along even more, (especially if you start whining about it to me!!) So, do yourselves a favor, folks – do not annoy the shit out of me when I am shopping anywhere, (especially when I am in the check out line) or I will do shit to piss your ass off even more.


Oh, and incidentally – as far as that guy I that I mentioned above, who was throwing that temper tantrum in the grocery store behind me in line – part of the problem was the cashier. The cashier was hung up on the purchase that she was ringing up before my purchase there at the store, because that other person’s purchase (that was in front of me) was a huge ass purchase and I had to wait like a good 20 minutes until I could get to where the cashier could even wait on me in line, so I was being totally patient about the whole thing with the cashier. Unfortunately, when the cashier finished up with my purchase and I started to walk away with what I ended up buying that day from the store, I overheard the guy that was behind me just really start going off on that poor cashier, because that stupid bastard had the patience of a knat and the guy had to wait like 15 minutes to just get waited on in line, (oh, you poor baby – not!!!) I almost turned around and told the guy that he was such a big, impatient baby that he needed to grow the hell up, but I always am of the opinion that people like this guy always get their comeuppance one fine day and it’s typically in grand style too, (which, of course, serves their stupid asses right, every single time!!)


I do not typically worry about the post office, because I do not typically go in there very often, (which the post office is mentioned in the above article.) I have, on the other hand, have waited an ungodly length of time in the local post office in my town, because they typically only have one clerk working the drop off/pick up desk, (as to why they do that is truly beyond me, folks. I think that the US post offices everywhere should have at least two people there to work the registers at all times, in case it gets backed up there, which seems to happen frequently when I am in there.)


Now, for item number four (the “Me show”) thing. I really do not mind talking about myself from time to time, but I agree with the authors of the above article – Rita and Elycia – for heaven’s sake, folks – do not keep talking on about yourself and things that nobody really cares about except you!! I think that if whatever it is that is so freaking important that you need to say it – get yourself a my space page or a blogger page here and just repeatedly blog about it to your heart’s content and force it on people that way.


As far as when somebody goes on ad infinitum about stuff in his or her life when that person is asked “So, what’s going on with you?,” then that person doesn’t bother to ask the person who initially asked the question the same in return needs to be taken out at dawn the following morning and shot in my opinion. The reason why I say that is because that means that the person who spent all of that time rattling on about him or herself is way too self-absorbed and too self-centered to be allowed in public or amongst us “Normal people.”



As for item number 5, (the whole “Changing the baby’s diaper” thing), one thing is for sure – I whole heartedly agree with Rita and Elycia on this one – for heaven’s sakes, people – please do not go changing your child’s dirty diapers in public! I would rather you change your little one’s dirty britches in the bathroom! Most places have the diaper changing stations in both sexes’ bathrooms now, so why don’t you just go on and take your little one in there (to the bathroom) and take care of the little one’s smelly britches in there? Trust me, I am sure that there will be folks (including your little one) who will be happy that you took the little one in to the bathroom to change the little one’s pants.


On this matter, I have to brag on my sister-in-law on this one, because I know that my sister-in-law at least takes my niece, (who is my sister-in-law’s now 1 year old baby) and changes “Shorty’s” pants in the women’s restroom. My niece has always had her britches (to my knowledge) changed in the bathroom, whenever my brother and his wife take Shorty out for an excursion somewhere in public. That is also not to mention that my niece is even natured enough to be patient with people (such as my mom, the baby’s mom or myself) when it comes to getting that dirty diaper off of Shorty’s little bottom – believe me, that child wants that diaper off of her worse than she can possibly even tell you.


Now on to item number 6, (Talking really at length on the cell phone in public), folks. Granted, I know that even I enjoy talking on my cell phone when it has juice (power) and talking time on it, but I really don’t give a rat’s ass about “How stacked so and so is” or “How smashed you and your stupid mates, (friends) got last weekend and/or last night,” when you’re talking on the telephone.


The most excitement that I get lately is talking to that cute niece of mine on the telephone (or cell phone) that I mentioned above with item number 5. (My mom typically has her cell phone put on speaker, so I can call out to the baby: “How is Aunt Melanie’s cute, little buddy doing today? Who’s Aunt Melanie’s little buddy? Do you know that your Aunt Melanie loves you, sweetie?? Who’s the cutest, little girl in the whole, wide world??, etc.”) I usually get to hear from my mom that my niece is smiling the baby’s little face right off whenever I talk to my niece over the telephone, because the baby knows that I think the world of that baby right now.


You see, folks – if I wanted to hear about how smashed that your stupid butt got last night or this past weekend, I would just come right over and ask your stupid butt outright, so trust me, I absolutely do not want to be subjected to listening to your ignorant butt yapping on the cell phone more than the next person does today. So, please, folks – do me a huge favor, just save it for the freaking ass text messages, because that way – I do not have to listen to you rattling on endlessly over the cell phone or telephone about your ignorant shenanigans as of late.


As for item number 7, (the whole people smoking in public bit), folks – well, I don’t really care if you smoke like a damned chimney, a freight train or what, but for heaven’s sake, start standing the heck away from the door as I’m trying to get in or out of a building! I also know for a fact that this item is also one of my husband’s pet peeves as well, because he lived with a chain smoker for all of those umpteenth years, prior to Tony and I getting married back in 2005.


I know that at where I currently work, there’s a whole “Marked area” for the smokers and there’s a white line on the pavement for the smokers to know where they can not cross it and still be smoking, (which makes it a whole lot easier to not have smoke blown on/at me as I am going in or out of work every day.) Another thing that is good about the smoking thing at where I work right now is that the site management there where I work are also anal about all of the smokers cleaning up after themselves, (the smokers that is, of course!!)


I also agree (yet again) with Rita and Elycia on the whole ashtray thing as well, folks. I think that if you are going to go and smoke somewhere, then you need to be at least polite enough to clean up after yourself afterwards. For heaven’s sake, people – if you’re going to go out and smoke, at least have the common decency to throw your cigarette (or cigar) butts in to a trash can or smoker’s tumbler thing with the sand at the bottom of it!!


On to item number 8 (the pee and fee bit), folks. I do think that you should at least try to aim straight enough to not do the whole “Sprinkle when you tinkle” thing, folks.


As for cleaning the mess up afterwards, I say use discretion, because depending on what kind of “Sprinkling” that you did, I don’t think that you’ll want to clean it up, (so in other words, if it’s ca ca that you sprinkled, then I don’t recommend using your bare hands on that one – try to clean it up the best that you can and leave whatever you can’t get to or that it’s just not safe to wipe up, then I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I would rather stay safe then come out of the bathroom on a stretcher with an EMT pulling me along.)


On item number 9, (the whole parking spot stealing thing), folks, now here’s one that outside of number 1 above, (the whole not responding to RSVP’s and not writing thank you notes thing) that you’re going to hear a whole lot from me on this one. For starters, I think about what Kathy Bates’ character did in the book and the movie by the same name, which is called "Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café" by Fanny Flag when Kathy Bates’ character had the parking spot thievery thing happen to Kathy’s character.


If you have not seen the movie above (or even read the book), let me tell you that it is possible to ram a person’s car seven times and it be an accident – really, it is, folks. What I call what happened there with Kathy Bates’ character is a “Moment of temporary insanity,” where you just “Accidentally lost control of yourself and the car, then managed to ram the other person’s car seven times, while trying to drive off to report it” or something to that effect. (Not that I am encouraging that kind of crazy behavior behind the wheel of your vehicle, of course! I do not want you guys to go out and said that I put you up to doing something like that incident in that book and movie later!!)



Of course, I do not think that people should steal other people’s parking spots, if it is really obvious that the other person was waiting on that spot in the first place. I have been fortunate to not have ever had this “Parking spot theft” happen to me even when I was a student at NKU, (whose parking situation for the students is shit in the first place), because I always made a point to at least put my turn signal on to indicate that I wanted that parking spot. I also always tried to arrive at least early enough (prior to my class’ start time, if and when possible back then) when I was a student at NKU for it to not be an issue with the parking there in the first place.


As for items 10, 11 and 12, (which are 10 – belly baring; 11 – spitting and 12 – the honking problem), folks, well, I do not agree with any of them happening in public. I have seen a wrinkly and smoking 78 year old lady in a bikini (which is totally nasty, trust me on this one here) one day when I was like 18 or 19 years old and I nearly lost my lunch that I had just started eating that afternoon between classes at NKU and I was at the house that I had grown up in over in Fort Thomas. (Incidentally, if you want to hear the “Whole story” on that “Old lady in a bikini” story, folks, please drop me a line here in and I will tell it to you.)


As for the whole spitting thing, (number 11) – I can see you spitting, if you have some kind of infection to get out of your system, (because you have a head cold or some kind of infection that you have just hacked out of yourself), but please spit it out, (when possible) in to a napkin or in to the grass by yourself, (if that’s humanly possible.)


On the other hand, I absolutely, positively cannot see you spitting just to spit – now that is just plain gross, children!! No man that I have ever known was made to look “Cooler” or “More manly” in my mind by doing that whole “Spitting to just spit” thing, folks – that typically was a huge red flag and a major turn off for me when I was a single lady to see a guy do that in public.


Lastly, as for the whole honking thing (number 12) – really, folks, I have had enough people honk at me over the years, including ambulances, because I could not (or did not) get out of the person’s way fast enough for the person’s liking in the other vehicle, (which the person is typically driving a large SUV or truck of some kind who thought that they were "More important than anybody else on the road" to be honest!!) As for the whole ambulance thing that I just mentioned above, folks – as a side note – that whole incident was totally not my fault – the rest of the traffic around me wouldn’t allow me to safely get out of the ambulance’s way to get over to let the ambulance get past me safely, so the ambulance driver all but ended up ramming me, because the people that were around me at the time just wouldn’t allow me over to get out of the ambulance’s way on northbound US 27.



Any way, folks, that is all that I have to say at the present time about the above article about etiquette. I also realize that this blog has been, well, rather long in nature, but I also had a whole lot to say and that article above took up some of the space, so you have to figure that it was not all of me talking here in this blog. I hope that all of you have a great week this week and I will talk to you all some time soon!!